Laughing at other's pain.

Yesterday, I must've eaten something not good because I'd been nauseated for at least a couple of hours and finally could not take it any longer. Nothing makes the experience of puking your brains out more unpleasant yet equally amusing as having your 13mo old kid at your side, hand on your shoulder/back...belly laughing laughing at your every retch. He thought it was hilarious. It might've been the hardest he'd laughed all day up to that point. But then it hit me. Clearly, I'm failing as a parent- he didn't even try to hold my hair back!!! Looks like I'll add some chivalry to the "Things To Teach Beezy" list.

Parasite dream, #1.

Last night, I finally had my first bizarre dream of this go-around. Since I have like 6 more months of this, I figure things could get pretty good and I need somewhere to log all my subconscious musings because let's face it, my imagination rules.

So, after 5yrs and 2 kids (clearly, this was in the future and wow, I can calculate amazingly well while asleep), Ian and I decided to renew our vows. Nothing says "I love you and still want to love you until death do we part" like having the ceremony at someplace I can only describe as a day-use rececreational lake area. The sort of place you post up on a bank, bait up your line, cast out and then sleep until a fish stupid/hungry enough comes along. Classy. So our families were all there. And there was some sort of "wedding party", because I remember from my approach to the site on a fishing boat (no joke, my mind is awesome) that there were a LOT of big, foofy red dresses. Black, white and red was the color scheme.

And did I mention that I was wearing red as well? A tight, form fitting, short red dress that would never look as good on me as it did in my dream, not even after a year of P90x. But I looked hot. Somehow in all this, the Kardashian sisters were there and were trying to sass up my look. Shockingly, my stellar dream recall in this area is very low, but I do know those tramps were trying to make me look awful. At some point, I got smart and booted them because I managed to make less of a mockery of myself and show up in my red dress and some green suede heels. I know this because while in the fishing boat, I looked down and saw that I had settled on the heels and was monumentally pleased with myself. (Head shaking, looking down in dismay...)

In an act of mercy, my mind woke me up but I have plenty of memories remaining. I now fear my mind. It's going to be a long winter...

Need to get back into this.

So, it's October. I just finished a bowl (yes, BOWL) of popcorn, the Beez is still sacked out after an hour (God bless the park) and I'm Pinterested out. I need to make the conscious decision to return to blogging as Facebook increasingly creeps me out. Plus, I need someplace to vent sometimes. We'll see how this goes...

Run for the hills.

As a general rule of thumb, that I discovered the hard way, whenever your kid doesn't poop one day, the next day you will pay. Big. It's like the apocalyptic diaper.

Have many wipes handy. And a can of Lysol.

This would be the reason why I haven't posted since June. Granted, he's only directly responsible for the span of time from end of September to this present blessed holiday season, but even in utero he was a handful. Meet Braden. He's my bubs.

Interesting...

I've been completely baffled by the staggering amount of people that have come out of the woodwork rooting for the Boston Celtics this NBA Finals series. And they aren't serious Boston fans... they're just Laker haters. But they're quite vocal on Facebook. And it drives me crazy.

Tonight, Boston got their asses handed to them in a beatdown in Lakerland. And it was awesome. And you know what I see a shocking lack of? Boston-centric comments from the Laker haters.

At least Laker fans talk about what happened, no matter how pissed off they are, and rally up for the next game.

Not the bandwagon, sudden NBA-lovin', Laker haters...

No way, no how, not ever...

So, I'm quietly relaxing on a Monday afternoon and I've been sucked into yet another one of those birth shows on some learning/science channel.

In this episode, as the mom is feet up and pushing the kid out... over the doctor's shoulder are her mom, dad, mother-in-law, sisters (!)... a freaking entourage.

And that brings me to my short, concise point- I'll be damned if someone other than my MD, the RN's, the Tall One and possibly a nursing student (gotta look out for my future co-workers) are going to be fixated on my crotch as I push out the next generation. Creepy. Weird.

Um, just...no.