Um, wow?

I just read in my latest issue of Better Homes & Gardens (nerd alert... and yeah! awesome!) that the hottest non-edible alcohol-containing product is Purell. It's popular for its 60% alcohol content. Apparently, parents are now supposed to add this to the list of common household items that can be abused for their liquor.

*in a whisper* Um, isn't this just natural selection at its finest?

Or is that too harsh?

Clearly, I don't have kids.

Have some cheese with the whine...

I'm half falling asleep while typing this AND I'm super bitter because there is so much crap flying around about this that it's all I can do to bite my lip and keep from screaming.

So I'll just put it like this.

If I hear one more conspiracy theory about the flu vaccine, especially the H1N1 flu vaccine, or any other vaccine for that matter, I'm going to projectile vomit on to the person speaking. So over it. I heard someone say that they refuse to take anything "pushed by the government". I thought everyone loved the government these days, seeing as we have a brand new president and all. What if the president said he got the flu shot? Would that be cool enough to convince the haters? I so badly want to tell people to stop buying into the hype and lies and direct them towards a solid reputable organization like the CDC but hey! They're pretty much government too! Can't trust those government people!!!!

And you know, it's not even so much about just not getting the flu. What about not getting the flu so that you aren't a vector for infection? How about doing something to make sure you don't spread your sickness to others that maybe can't take it as well as you?

You know what? Fine. Forgo all vaccines, ruin decades of herd immunity and allow the return of awful, awful diseases that killed thousands of people every year. I bet a lot of those people and their families would've jumped at the chance to vaccinate against something if it had been available to them.

And if you still feel the need to be socially irresponsible and flip your nose at any sort of vaccine, do it because you've done the research from reliable, scientific sources. Don't do it because half of Hollywood says not to. Don't do it because your friend sent you a chain email crying wolf. Don't do it because you heard a vaccine has Agent Orange in it. Don't do it because you still think it will cause autism when the research is showing the opposite. Don't do it because you saw a YouTube video of someone that can only walk backwards because they got the flu shot. And my personal favorite- don't do it because you think it is the government's evil plot to depopulate the country. Really? Seriously? You believe that crap? I mean, have you seen half of Congress? Most of them are thinking with their livers or their crotches, not trying to conjure up ways to decrease their votes. And besides, given the fact that idiots and teenagers continue to reproduce at alarming and appalling rates (*ahem*, Jon and Kate... Octomom... every single teenager on MTV's 16 and Pregnant *cough, cough*), I don't think the country is under any sort of depopulation threat.

Don't ever, ever ask me what I think about vaccinations. We probably won't be friends again afterwards.

Bail out schools instead of business.

How unfortunate that my first blog in ages is me cranking about something. But it's just got to be said!!

So, with all this business about bailing out banks and auto makers and this and that, from what I can see, we should be more concerned with bailing out our schools because judging by the crap I read that people type and the things that come out of people's mouths- it would be money better spent.

I say this because everyday I'm on Facebook, I guarantee I count a minimum amount of five times that I see "you are" contracted into the misspelling of "your". For the umpteenth time, "your" is possessive, "you're" is a contraction of "you are". This fact is lost on countless people, and yet- didn't we learn this in elementary english?

But alas, this is not the target of my ire. Nor is it the capricious swap of then and than. Today, I read someone's comment and they used the phrase "leaning a pond God". Perhaps, this is more commonly known as "leaning upon God".

Leaning. A. Pond. Wow. Not only is this wrong, it doesn't even make sense!!!! I mean, I know what THEY mean, but really- did she even read her words to check that maybe they were borderline unintelligible in meaning?

Am I the only one going crazy here?!? Seriously, people say things all day long and yet when they commit them to print or type, THIS is the crap they think they are saying?!? And we wonder why our country has faded on the world stage- it's because our citizens talk like madness!!!

Sigh. I'm going to go lean my head UPON my pillow because I have a headache from the stupidity and the fact that I work tonight.

Tune in next time, where I will explain for all doctors to read the difference between castor oil and castrol oil and how one makes you poop and the other keeps your car running smoothly.