The Shallow and the Petty.

I admit it.  I sink to the level of cattiness and the inane when I could really care less about talking about "real issues."  Perfect example- when the Lakers choked in the NBA finals earlier this year, I didn't focus on the fact that they couldn't make stops or score when it counted, I rant (present-active participle tense, because I still do) about what a faker Paul Pierce is.  AAAARRRGGHH!!!  My knee!!!  I'm mortally wounded... I need to be carried of the cooouurrttt... WAIT!  I'm baaaacckk, and I can still plaaaay...  Makes me almost dry heave thinking about it.

And now with all the post election coverage (because really, when this is all you report on for 7-8 months, you can't just flip the switch back to life as usual- kind of like quitting heroin.  So, I'm told...), there is just too much fodder for me.  I'm like a kid in a candy shop.  I can't keep it in anymore.

Bwaa-ha-haaaaaaa...

Good grief!  Seriously- what the hell was Joe Biden's wife thinking?  This is a multiple choice question, kids:

A) Dammit, Michelle!!!  I called "red".  I hate you.  Four years of you getting first pick because you're the First Lady.

B) Nobody cares about the VP's wife and I wore all my good outfits earlier, maybe people won't notice...

C) It worked for Sir Isaac Lime and I love Otter Pops- I'm rockin' the lime!!!!

D) Aren't glow sticks cool?  I'm trying to garner the rave partiers' vote.

E) This term's VP's wife, brought to you by BIC highlighters and the color yellow!

AAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!! 

I was calmly watching TV during my lunch when this disaster masquerading as a news anchor started pitching the day's election roundup.  All this after she got the weatherman's question right and laughed uncomfortably long and loud over it.  And here's the question: On what kind of day would you see more sun- mostly sunny or partly cloudy?  She was, no joke, ecstatic she got it right.  It was awkward.  But not as awkward as her face, which has no wrinkles even when moving, or her lips which are Botoxed to the painful/stung by a hive of bees level.  And I'm just saying what you might be thinking- her boobs could be bigger.  I'm just sayin'...  

Wait, here's another- it was too good...

Ok- I feel better.  

That was fun.

Bwaa-ha-haaaaaaaaa...