Screw the dosage instructions...

Being a nursing student, I have to learn an obnoxious amount of information.  Sometimes, this includes dosing instructions for medications.  If we've learned one thing, it's that those dosage ranges, unlike the pirate code, are not merely guidelines, they're to be heeded.

Which is why I love Facebook.  If I was a doctor, I'd open up a Facebook medical clinic, where you could give me your status update in the form of whatever viral infection you have and you can then demand an antibiotic.  And then, I will respond with a lengthy dissertation on how your frivolous use of antibiotics is singlehandedly contributing to bacterial resistance and the dwindling number of effective antibiotics.  And then you'll still demand an antibiotic because you got one once and it "totally helped".  Screw you and your knowledge, I know what I'm doing!!!  Science????  Pfffttt...

For the last two days, I've seen people update their status with their current symptoms and then they get deluged with armchair doctor advice.  Some of it is good.  Some of it is bad.  Some of it is a sure way to go into kidney or liver failure.  And sometimes, you gotta ask yourself, "Hmm, this fever I'm typing- like 103.5, that sounds pretty dramatic.  Perhaps I should close Facebook and reach for Tylenol and monitor the situation, and possibly make an appointment with a doctor?"

But the kicker was this, in response to a CONTINUED fever of 103 and higher: "Yeah, flu's going around... lots of Tylenol and Advil, every 3 hours..."  And here's where I get self-righteous.  

Advil: 1-2 capsules every 4-6 hours, not to exceed 6 capsules in a 24 hour period.

Tylenol: 2 capsules every 6 hours, not to exceed 8 capsules in a 24 hour period.

Now, since there isn't a specific amount of pills listed in the stellar advice given, considering most people take at least 1-2 pills each time, following this advice, you would be dosing 8 times in a 24 hour period, and at 1-2 pills each, you're looking at a minimum of 8 pills and up to at least 16 pills in that time period, and figure that's for each brand.  Now, let's factor in the knowledge that Tylenol is toxic to your liver and Advil can kill your kidneys.  That's not a good friend.  She's effectively and unwittingly recommending organ damage for you.  Hi, can I have a one-way ticket to Organtransplantville on the Organ Damage Express?

I admit, I used to live by the motto: if 2 work, 3 will be great.  When the Tall One and I started dating, and he found out about my shenanigans, he got strangely serious and told me clearly and plainly- follow the instructions with those pills.  So, when the guy who doesn't take most things seriously actually tells me to follow instructions, you better believe I listened.  

I think people think that Tylenol and Advil are innocuous because you can buy them over the counter and everyone takes them.  Want to know something?  If someone wanted to end it all, rather than blow a heap of money on Valium or street drugs, just buy some Tylenol, take half the bottle and kiss your liver goodbye.  Done and done.

Don't ever ask me for dosage advice.  It's like opening Pandora's Box.  I will just give you the most condescending incredulous look and tell you that a lot of people waaay smarter than me with a lot higher degrees than me spent a lot of time and research to make that information readily available to you.  It's on the container, that information is there for a reason...

Your kidneys and liver are supposed to last a lifetime, don't let some doof with their own organ damage tell you how to take pills.