Showers of Fury

It's been a while since I went all bitter critter inflammatory on an unsuspecting audience, but I'm coming off a slightly stressful week that was capped by a 12-hr hospital day after a horrible night of 4 hours of sleep... and then an 8-hr rotation the next morning in the "poop lab", a.k.a: GI lab.  I've cracked.  So without further ado, things that make me narrow my eyes and think mean thoughts:

Poop.

My nice genteel walk/run route is through a fairly pricy part of town.  The last place I expect to encounter a veritable minefield of DOG POOP.  There are days where I have to dodge it because it's all over the sidewalk.  Hhhhrrrrrrmmmmmm... If you're going to get a dog, freaking clean up after it!!!  It's not hard!!!  If you're not going to clean, then don't get the dog because not only does it stink, not only does it look cheap- it eventually runs off into the ocean about 400 yards away and then I end up with it in my ears or nose or something. 

 

Cell phones and exercising.

The two are mutually exclusive.  If you're exercising hard enough, you can't carry on a decent conversation.  If you are talking and walking, guarantee you're not working hard enough.  Plant your ass on the nearest bench and finish the talk because trust me, you're NOT killing two birds with one stone.  I so live in Orange County.

Expensive cars.

Before I anger several close friends and family members with my statement, please understand that I'm not talking about you and this is another one of my sweeping generalizations.  Here's my theory: People with very expensive cars drive the worst (at least around here) because they already think the world revolves around them and they have no concept of what the value of their car is.  Oh, you have the right away?  Well, I'm in more of a hurry than you so screw you- I'm turning left NOW/swerving across 3 lanes to catch that freeway merge I almost missed because I was chatting aimlessly on my cell/I feel like driving right HERE right now.  I think I just don't like people.

My neighbor with the big white van.

He for some reason brings a huge cargo can home and wastes one of the resident parking spots on his ridiculous van, because he already has another car at home and it won't fit in the garage anyway.  The best part?  He tries to back it in the spot.  The last time he did that, he ended up just over a foot from the entire right side of my car.  If you're gonna act like a valet driver, do it right.  Don't box me in.  And park your damn van on the street, it's an eyesore.

Basically, I can sum up my current discontent with people like this: People, it's not all about you.  Pull your head out of your ass and notice the wide world spinning around you.  Which, or course, could be said to me at exactly the same time.  Sigh.  Being spiteful is so exhausting.  I need a nap.