I hate Tyrone Wells.

Tyrone Wells is an insipid, spoilt little child masquerading as a singer/songwriter.  He uses words like legendary and organic to describe his contrived ballads about true love, war and heartbreak in his biographies, which can be found on any free social networking site.  He's a scrawny, pathetic pastor's kid with a BIC'ed head and bad boy-band soul patch under his bottom lip.  Soooo trendy and hot right now.

His songs are cliche, breathlessly extolling the virtues of some girl floating through the room like a breath of air... oh and he thinks she's beautiful or some crap like that.  That's in addition to the songs he's apparently penned about how much war sucks and that there's another way.  Uncharted lyrical territory, I know.  He's also a signed artist with a recording contract and plays some relatively decent sized shows.  

Now to tie all this together, the Tall One's band had been scheduled to play a benefit show along with Mr. Wells for Acres of Love, a non-profit group that supports abandoned and  HIV positive babies and children.  A BENEFIT- a concert where bands play for free to raise money for a good cause.  Not your band's cause, their cause.

Well, Tyrone "I'm-a-diva/dick" Wells found out that the Tall One's band was "high energy" and "electric guitar" and has 5 members and all that and pitched a 3-year old fit and said he wouldn't play if the Tall One's band went on before them.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Cheese and freaking crackers!!!!!!  Since when was a recording artist with a contract, 8,000+ fans without souls on Facebook, and style pinched off a Tilly's ad scared of an unsigned band from south Orange County playing their 3rd live show ever?  You won't play as the headlining act because the band before you has more members than you?  What happened to generating money for a good cause?  Use your freaking influence and fan base to support a great foundation doing a remarkable job!  So what if the band before you is bigger and louder?  You're the headlining act!!!  If you're so worried about being upstaged, perhaps your music should be better.  Just a thought.

So now, you cannot see the Tall One play.  You can go see the lead singer do his own set, in accordance with the headlining whiner's wishes and still support a good cause.  It just won't be the same.

TD, I mean, TW is probably nice enough and just somewhere along the line sold his soul and social skills to further his music career.  He is a pastor's kid and is probably one of those artists that is a believer but doesn't beat you over the head with his beliefs in his art.  I'm probably going to see him in heaven and have to deal with him for eternity and that's fine and good.  My human nature just lives under the delusion that once I'm in heaven and I finally come across him, I'll actually remember all of this and I'll just walk over, kick him in the nuts for insulting the Tall One and his band and being a puss, and then continue praising God.  And yes, I just confessed that last little bit to God.  And I'll probably have to do so many more times today.  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose husband's band has been insulted.

Tyrone, you suck.