Please don't make me shake hands...

I have a confession.

I really don't like shaking hands with people when I walk into church.

It's really one of the only things that makes me cringe about Saturday nights (when we go to church).  Every week, there is the nicest, nicest person greeting everyone coming in for the service.  They give you a warm, genuine smile... and then put out their hand to shake yours.  Eeeek.

It's such an inviting and friendly gesture.  And yet, ALL I can think about is how many people walked in before me and shook that same hand and what had that person been doing before they walked in? Did they use the bathroom before coming to church and did they bother to wash their hands?  Is it a stereotypical south OC family with 2-4 kids, half of which are carrying at least 3 cold viruses each?  Does that person up there think he's over the flu and feels up for church but is still coughing and sniffling?  These are the things I think about!!!!  And it's awful!!!!  And it's all nursing school's fault!!!!!!

I've tried lots of things to avoid "the shake".  I've tried looking freezing (easy to do lately), cramming my hands underneath crossed arms and looking like I can't even take them out for a shake.  Didn't work last night.  I still got the hand and a reassuring, "Don't worry, it's nice and warm inside."  Sheesh.  I've tried to slide in with a large family hoping that the greeter won't see me, but those guys are like greeter Jedis- no man left ungreeted!  About the only thing that consistently works is fumbling around in my excessively large hippie sack that masquerades as a purse and looking very absorbed in it.

I know.  I'm a mean person.  Sigh.

Thank goodness for the small bottle of Purell.