Indescribable?

I wish I were actually talking about an overused Chris Tomlin song, but alas, I'm finally getting around to venting my true feelings about the absurd phenomenon known as... "The Snuggie."

There are more than a few Facebook pages devoted to people that voluntarily admit to owning and loving their Snuggie.  I find this absolutely tragic.  For those of you that don't have a TV, a Snuggie is a fleece-type blanket with sleeves and is super long because those "regular" blankets are so cumbersome and drafty and don't cover you.  Why, you might even have to expose an arm to the frigid evironment of your TEMPERATURE CONTROLLED HOUSEHOLD to do things like use the remote to change the channel or hold your infant.  Heaven forbid.

If you're sick of the injustice and shortcomings of the traditional blanket, which shockingly enough has warmed billions of people for millenia (how DID those biblical shepherds watch over their flocks by night without one?), then you apparently are ready for a Snuggie.  The commerical shows lots of everyday situations that are made even better (read:warmer) with a Snuggie.  Perfect for backyard S'mores action!  Soccer games!  Even those drafty dormrooms!  (Side note: I went to an ostentaciously priced liberal arts college AND lived on campus for 4 years.  90% of my tuition went towards the landscaping and the once-a-month Sizzling Salads dinner, not towards weatherproofing the dorms.  Yet, drafty is not one of the words I would use to describe them.  Want to know why?  Because when you share a suite with 6 other chicks, somebody's gonna go ballistic with the thermostat and turn the other rooms into the next Sahara.  Screw the weatherstripping.  But I digress...) 

What nobody brings up is that yes, you can wear this thing to all these places, but there's no way you're going to avoid looking like you're a card-carrying member of a UFO/Trekkie/space age cult while doing it!  Just look!!!  Homie just needs to be flashing that Spock/Vulcan split-finger thing to finish it off proper.

People, c'mon.  These things are creepy.  And yet, somewhere, the creator of this thing is asking himself, "What recession?", because he's sold 4 million units in the last 3 months at $19.95 a pop.

Take me to your leader.