It's the little things.

Well, this week has been forgetable so far.

I had a weird encounter with the charge nurse on the Neuro/Surgical ICU Monday.  Usually, charge nurses are so, chargeful.  Not this one.  Not a good sign.

Monday night, I woke up at 2am and never fell back asleep.  I stayed in bed until my alarm went off at 4:30am.  4.5hrs of sleep, rad.

Tuesday, I get assigned to the poster child of Type-A, attention-to-detail, neurotic critical care nursing, which is great for her patients, bad for a student.  She proceeded to rush through her entire morning routine, doing part of my job because I was either too slow or what needed to be done was "too difficult" for her to explain to me.  I know I suck, I'm a student and this is my SECOND DAY EVER in a critical care unit.  But this girl is only three years past graduation and she has apparently gotten sooo good at critical care nursing that she's forgotten what it's like to be a student.  And then she'd disappear for 30 minute stretches.  At one point, I was so frustrated that I told her, "You know, I know that I'm a little slow and I'm sorry if that is ruining your routine, but this is my SECOND DAY EVER in a critical care unit.  I'd like to be able to do as much as possible because I only have a few more days."  She lightened up a little after that, bu not before telling me, "Sorry, I know I move kind of fast, but I try to stay ahead of things because you never know what can happen- your patients' could be fine and then 10min. later it all goes downhill."  Perhaps, but today your patients consist of a guy who is a walking/talking/no deficit stroke pt that is only there because his blood pressure is a little low and a lady who bled out into her brain, is totally non-responsive and breathing on her own.  Back the crap off!!!!  She'd give me something to do, something I've done a million times and in the middle she'd step in and do something her way, throwing me off and forcing me into a rookie mistake.  I was so mad at one point, my eyes got misty.  Mercifully, it was a short day.  At 1pm, I cordially thanked my superiority complex of a nurse and left.  Usually, I have profuse thanks and praise for my nurses- they teach me so much.  Not this one.  Today I learned that with some people, cliques and being ahead of your own game is more important than passing on knowledge and encouragement to the next generation of nurses.  I hate that ICU.

Wednesday, we had our first exam.  I LOVE the cardiovascular system.  I'd like to work in a cardiac ICU.  That test sucked.  I got a B.  I should be thankful, and I am.  But I'm pissed off that I studied that long and hard and got a B.

I also learned this week that a local hospital is on a hiring freeze, another is apparently filling new grad positions and not even posting them and some don't even want new grads right now.  I have a constant headache because I face the possibility of finishing 3 1/2 years of school and possibly not having a job.  I'm a little negative and pessimistic about things at the moment, which doesn't help motivation... which would be really nice thing to have as the middle of the semester is coming up.

But today, that ray of light came through the clouds.  Today, I realized that there is now a Swirlz Frozen Yogurt in town and I'm going to get me some.  It won't get me a job or help me pass my neuro test, but it makes me happy.

And I need happy.