Make sure that in that "critical thinking" assessment, there are questions like: If spring is late, the bees and birds will be small and hungry. From this information, pick which statement accurately repeats this premise- a) If spring is late, birds will be small and bees will be hungry, b) If spring not late, birds will not be small and bees will not be hungry, c) If spring is not late, the birds and bees will not be small and hungry, d) go shoot yourself.
Get a small dog for a pet, leave at home by itself on your patio all day and let it bark for hours for your neighbors' enjoyment.
Convince her that Wal-Mart is a good idea.
In anticipation of her arrival at Wal-Mart, leave 4 shopping carts at the end of the parking stall that is less than 10 feet from the shopping cart return, and about 15 feet from the next closest shopping cart return.
Allow your 5 children to meander aimlessly behind you as you take up the entire aisle while walking down it, with at least 3 of them asking you repeatedly in loud voices if they can have this. Or this. Or maybe this. Is it spring break or something? Shouldn't they be in school, rather than in Wal-Mart groveling for a cheap baseball bat?
Nearly run her toes over with your shopping cart as you steal her place in the newly opened checkout stand because you are in a hurry to purchase cockatiel food. Two thoughts here: you had to rudely cut in front because of bird food... and you needed a CART to hold a 2lb. container of birdseed? I've got two words for you: the gym. And put that cart in the shopping cart return, you dolt.
Make sure the economy tanks right before she finishes a 3 1/2 year adventure, leaving her and hundreds of other new grad RN's with no jobs.
Good times.
3 comments:
Your not bitter are you??? ha ha
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