There was this song in the late, late 80's that I couldn't stand. Black Velvet by Alannah Myles. She was this Canadian chick singing about Mississippi and the south and other stuff, trying to be a sultry sexpot. I didn't know she was Canadian at the time, but now that I know it, it makes the song more annoying- you weren't from there!!! It'd be like me belting out tunes about Prince Edward Island or roughing it in the Yukon.
So after getting the requisite comments from sub A-list people, they get Alannah Myles herself and she's rocking the Pepe le Pew, grey/white handful of hot mess curls off one side of her forehead while the rest of her hair is hot mess dark. And in this totally odd and creepy way she says, "Black Velvet was #1 in almost every country in the world except for London, England..."
(Narrowed eyes, biting my lip...) OK, can't stand it. London isn't a country!!!!! What do they teach you up north?!?!?
Did you know she won a Grammy for that load of crap and inexplicably sold millions of albums? She never saw a dollar of it due to a label dispute. She then proceeded to cry a sob story about how she wasn't a lawyer, or an accountant or a manager- she was an artist. She then sang her heart out in Europe and then hosted a Canadian show about the paranormal. "Waves are an essential part of our universe... and beyond."
And it all makes sense now.
1 comments:
Black Velvet was sung by a Canadian? Ick. Only one rung up the ladder is Elton John singing about the South (Mississippi?) in "My Father's Gun" and other tunes. He may have the musical chops, but why can't he sing about, oh, Manchester or Bath or friggin' Penzance? I don't care if Elvis is his idol--get out of his backyard.
At least Elton knows that London is a city.
Although, IS England a county? or is the UK a country? Is the UK not a country, but a nation? Can both England and the UK be countries?
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